Rant of the Week

Don't be fooled by the title, this 'segment' I am now including may not even last past this singular post. Though judging by how much hatred there is inside me, I could fill the Death Star with it all. Now time to push on through to my rant in full.

Despite what many of the people that know me may think, I don't have a problem with bodybuilding. It's a competitive arena, a recreational pasttime, and an artform of sorts. Now you can see I am reasonable in some domain, I'll get on with the juicy details of my rant.

Many guys who are training purely for size think that doing so is the fastest way to 'get hyooge'. They assume this because the people on the cover of the magazines are massive, and so they think they simply need to get in the gym and do a circuit of the machines and the bench, and hey presto they will be demi-gods of the aesthetic religion. Not true (not to mention that the guys who are on the covers of muscle mags are using anabolics and could do almost anything in the gym and get bigger).

Firstly, most will look at Arnold (hallowed by thy name) and say 'Hey, that guy is the biggest thing I've ever seen, I'll do my workout, get a nice pump every day, and eventually I'll end up like that.' Arnold had some great things going for him, including incredible insertion points, great proportion, and just overall fantastic genes. But what modern day weekend warriors forget is that Arnold was fucking strong. He entered strongman competitions, with a career-high deadlift of well over 300kg, a bench press of 180kg for sets of 5 and above, and squatting 240kg until he passed out from exhaustion. He also was an accomplished weightlifter, regularly snatching and cleaning as part of his workouts.

The point of the matter is, Arnold was strong before he became Mr Universe. The analogy that is handy in understanding this concept is the potter and his clay. A bigger slab of clay is a better foundation for artwork than a piddly small lump. Bodybuilding is about shaping muscles and creating the illusion of size through carefully proportioned muscles, so what is impressive about an immaculately shaped bicep if it's on a 65kg runt? That one's rhetorical by the way.

Guys who are bodybuilding recreationally do so to be alpha males, to stand out, to be noticed. But when I see a presumably massive alpha male doing barbell rows with less than I overhead press, the illusion is gone. So wouldn't it be better to be strong rather than just appearing so? And isn't being strong the most foolproof method of all to putting on size? So here's my message to all these jokers - get off your padded machines, pick up a barbell, and remember that size is a byproduct of strength.